I fake-numbered a guy.
I was at the Mav (!), getting a drink (!!), and the guy in line ahead of me offered to buy my drink. I declined, but he followed me out to my car and asked me for my number. He was not young. And he didn't give off any vibe that he'd retired young and was living comfortably on his amassed fortune. No vibe at all. And it was the middle of the day. Does he even have a job?
I know I'm really jumping to conclusions here because, after all, I was at Mav, in the middle of the day. However, I was dressed for work (he was dressed for . . . the day) and I drove to Mav in a car that I pay for with the money I earn from the aforementioned job (either his car was parked around the block or he walked).
I kept trying to get in my car and shut the door, but he positioned his body just right . . . so I couldn't shut the door. Think about the geometry -- that means he was uncomfortably close. Even for me, The Girl With No Real Concept of Personal Space. I fake-numbered him just so I could get out of there. I was so embarrassed that somebody might have seen the whole exchange that I ran back into the Mav and asked the cashier if he thought I'd go to h*ll for fake-numbering a guy old enough to be my dad's much older friend. I don't really care about the answer, I just asked so the Mav guy would know I would never really give out my number under those circumstances. Just the same, the Mav guy thinks I'm probably not going to burn eternally.
What is it about me that attracts men in their mid- to late-whatevers (not 30s) who are questionably employed?
Don't answer.
In any case, the odds of getting a real number after offering to buy and then not actually buying an 84 cent refill : slim.
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6 comments:
EWWWWWW! Don't blame you, girl!!
Besides the 'obvious' with almost any man, I think he probably recognized all your given points in the 2nd paragraph, and could see that you would take good care of him, so he could be NOT taking care of himself and pickin' up other girls at the Mav!!
That, my friend, was awesome. And why the crap was he so close? You should have gotten that "with a vengence!" guy out there to protect you.
if you go for the "old" men than make sure they are well over 70 - very rich and very sick.
remind me sometime and i will recount my experience with a dirty old man. me - 18 him - 74 (at least). very rich mob guy from pittsburgh. but his last wife died very mysteriously so.....i told him i would only go out if we took my mother along. :)
Ahhhhh....you are the best...and the funniest!
Love it, love it, love it. What I want to know is what WAS the fake number you gave? 555-BABE? Hmmm... (Kristin Brown here, by the way...I'm stalking your blog...don't be afraid...and don't even try to fake-number me)
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