Dear All of my Neighbors,
I might be getting a little chubby. Perhaps you’ve noticed, as I waddle out to the mailbox or haul myself across the street to borrow butter/cream/sugar from Kathy. The thing is, I totally don’t mind. All those fabulous Christmas treats that are on my doorstep after work are such a nice welcome home. It’s lonely, what with the kids gone and all, but I’ve really enjoyed spending these wintry evenings comforting myself with your delicious cookies, toffee, chocolate-dipped pretzels (I don’t even like chocolate but when it’s coating a yummy, crunchy pretzel – HELLO. GIVE ME MORE.), Chex mix concoctions, fudge . . . and the popcorn, oh, the popcorn!!
Last night, for example, I didn’t leave work until well after 7pm. I couldn’t decide what to make for dinner but I also didn’t feel like stopping anywhere on the way home. As I pulled in the driveway, I noticed the festive plates and charming boxes filled with . . . . DINNER!! Done!
So here’s the deal. I’ve realized that my singleness is probably a permanent condition. I’m giving up trying to be cute enough, or funny enough, or thin enough (not that I was ever even close on that one), or whatever “enough” it is that I haven’t been. I’ve decided that if I’m going to be single forever, at least I’m going to be well-fed. I’m going to have cheesecake when I want it; I’m having cookies for dinner whenever my children are gone; if I want a second helping of lasagna, get out of the way. And I’m going to enjoy every single bite.
Skinny jeans be damned, bring on the tent dress!!
The only drawback is for you, dear neighbors, because while I can’t see my butt from where I stand, you sure as heck can. And soon, it will be visible from space. Sorry! Your misfortune, not mine!
Don’t stop bringing the treats!
Love the love handles,
Cara
4 comments:
I loved your Christmas card. It was beautiful! What a fab coat.
Your family is darling and so are you. I can't wait to read your book. You are such a talented writer. Have a wonderful Christmas!
Thank you my friend for a fabulous post which I desperately needed today! I think you look fabulous as always! Hope today was fun!
Oh Cara...everytime I read your blog I am wetting my pants cuz I am laughing so hard! You are fab!!! And all your neighbors know it!
Cara, this is precisely one of the posts I've mentioned to you before - the ones where I want to comment but I feel I need more time to come up with something clever. Alas...there's no time now.
I loved it. You, my friend, are hilarious.
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