One guess as to why I like the picture. Only thismuch of me shows. Which is fine by me. The chubby legs? Hidden by my lovely children. The plump arms? Wrapped around those little folks in the front. The no-longer-flat-belly because I've had a million (ok, only four) kids? Way to go, Zach, Abby and Spen, between the three of you, you were able to cover it up! I look at my girls and think about body image, self-esteem and self-worth and how those things dramatically shape the decisions that we make. A couple of years ago, I'd lost some weight (about 30 pounds, which, let's be honest, is almost like 3,000,000 pounds because losing is SO MUCH HARDER than gaining!!!) and was feeling pretty happy about it. My Grandma J made a comment about it, so I proudly confessed how much I'd lost. She replied, "Well, you have at least that much to lose again."
Zing!
Ouch.
Now, you must understand. I love my grandma. I really do. She has a tendency that may or may not be genetic (by that I mean that it is undoubtedly genetic) to say things that in her head sound funny but, somehow, out loud, hanging there in the air, they are decidedly unfunny. Anyway, probably like most families, weight has always been an interesting topic around here. Rachel, who weighs 1 1/2 pounds more than Spencer (who is nearly 3 years her junior), is already worried that she's getting fat. WHAT!?!?! If a stiff breeze comes up, that girl is gone.
This picture (Sara took it, it's amazing, isn't it?) is a couple of years old, but you can see how tiny she is. So I feel like the Failure Mother of the Year because I've saddled her with body image issues. Already. She's seven.
My friend Melanie and I have this theory that girls are much more likely to get in trouble with their boyfriends if they have low self-esteem and/or body issues. Our study is based on a completely scientific sample of 2 -- her and me. So clearly our conclusions are statistically valid. The list of things I want to teach my kids grows exponentially, but right up there at the top: How to Have High Self-Esteem. My dad's family is the most phenomenal example -- my Gram and Granddad B were able to teach their kids that better than any other family I know.
The lesson I need to learn here is that I can't very well say critical things about myself (even if I think them) and expect my children to feel good about themselves. Wow. Motherhood is hard. Besides the cooking and the cleaning and the driving and the homework and the reading and the handwashing and the ironing and the wiping (counters, tables, walls, noses, bums) and the crying and the laughing and the laundry......I have to be nice to myself too?
4 comments:
I am going to agree...Motherhood is REALLY HARD! Why didn't anyone tell us that it was this hard. I would have preferred a little heads up!
I have ALWAYS had self image issues. And one of my biggest fears is passing that on to Addison. I've only been doing this for 6 month but i am always worried i am screwing her up ALREADY!
I saw this quote from Shanna Moakler (fmr. Miss USA):
"I look at my children and I am thrilled that my body will never be the same after having them," 32-year-old mother of three says. "They were worth it!"
While I am all about getting back into shape post baby, eating really healthy etc... I do think that sometimes it can get a little out of control. While I'd love to look like I did as a Freshman in H.S....I LOVE my two little munchkins way more! My goal is to be healthy and fit enough to play with them; coach their teams; ride the waves at the beach with them; hike in Yosemite with them; play family games of football with them etc... That has been my focus...less on the weight and more on how I feel when I am chasing my kids. I think our kids pick up way to much about our insecurities that are unhealthy. I think you kids are amazing...as are you!! If I ever have to cross the plains...I am hopping in your wagon train so I can wacth and learn from you. You are one of my favorite examples of persrverance and drive!
p.s. You need to come run one of our "races" with us!! We are NOT die hards...we just do it for fun and health. :)
I just want you to look at each of your kids and see there smiles. I think that they are great kids and that is because they have a great mom. I love all the photos it is fun to see them growing up. I just noticed what name comes up Cara and I want you to know that it is Rebekah Mott if you didn't know. Sorry it just worked out weird that way maybe because I didn't know what I was doing for sure.
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