Yesterday I realized that I don’t ever want to be homeless.
I went the gym before work yesterday, very, very early in the morning, and decided that rather than drive all the way back home, I’d just bring my things and get ready at work. See, the gym is halfway between my house and work, and my firm has showers on the 7th floor. Genius.
I did my workout, got quite repugnant-smelling, and drove to work. There’s a shower at the gym, of course, but I didn’t relish the idea of driving into work and then walking the ten million miles from my parking spot to my office, past all my construction worker buddies, with wet hair. Vanity, I know. Also, it’s getting cold out. Hello, cutting glass.
Of course, my Parking Karma kicked in and I got a metered spot close to the building, so I ended up only dashing across the street in my workout clothes -- hauling my purse, my briefcase, my bag of food for the day, and my bag full of clothes/undies/hair dryer/make-up/hair product/walking shoes. And, of course, Iwas also juggling my Morning DMD. Duh . . . I’m just working out, not getting a new personality.
Anyway, you’ll notice in my Random Bag of Crap, I did not mention deodorant or a towel. That’s because neither of those things were in there. I remembered to bring enough food for ALL THREE MEALS PLUS TWO SNACKS since I was going to be at work for 15-16 hours, but did I bring deodorant? No. You can see what's important to me.
So (this story is taking forever, isn’t it?) I head off to get ready . . . and discover more construction buddies have taken over the shower for a giant storage closet to be used while they re-vamp the inner workings of the 7th floor. No showering there. I wasn’t about to drive home, but it was so early in the morning, and I like and want to keep all my friends who live in Salt Lake, so I wasn’t going to make any wake-up calls.
“Hi!! It’s Cara!! Oh, did I wake you up? Really? Huh, imagine that. Well, anyway, can I come use your shower? I’ll bring breakfast!!”
I even called my co-clerk Tom (hi Tom!!) to see if he’d let me in the courthouse to use the shower there, but it was way too early, even for him. Off to the showerless 8th floor bathroom, where I did the homeless routine – “clean-up” with wet paper towels, head under the faucet, barefoot (and naked) in the bathroom stall (eww, who am I? Crazy Britney?). Luckily for me, I work with a bunch of lawyers who are also scientists, so let’s just say, nobody noticed all day long. However, I have a whole new appreciation for people living on the street.
When I went to visit my friends at the court later that day, one of them said to me, “You seem different today. What is it about you that’s different?”
“Oh, that? That’s just my new cardboard sign and sleeping bag. Don’t mind them.”
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3 comments:
Cara - I know exactly what you are dealing with here. I ride to school every day, shower in the upstairs shower, and have to pack in all my extra clothes and lunch etc. Since I am not very alert in the morning I usually forget one item per day. I have had to dry off with paper towels too. Sometimes I forget my underwear. Yeah, its crazy. That made me laugh to see you go through the same pain. - Kels
Your posts get more and more funny. Now, you FINALLY fit in to our "white trash" neighborhood! I do have to admit though that I am relieved that I am not the only person who has a slight obsession with food. Although you and I both know (remember that Wasatch Back?) that it is more than just a slight obsession. . . . I pretty much always count down the minutes until the next time is that I can eat. I need food therapy.
Love the post it is hilarious as always. I'm glad you came up with such an inventive solution. I remember doing that on road trips when I was younger...must admit don't miss it at all!!!
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